ask Knox: boyfriends, bosses and cats

12Dec08

mailbox2Dear Knox,

A lot has changed in my life recently. I’ve been dating a guy for about two weeks and working at a new job for about three. Last night, I brought my new beau along with me for drinks with some of my new co-workers. Everyone was drinking rather hard for a Monday night, especially my boss. I could tell she thought my date was cute, that she was even possibly undressing him with her eyes. It didn’t really bother me since she’s married and a good ten years older than me, and it didn’t really bother him until she started to talk to him about her cat and asked if he’d like to see it, at which point she flashed him her vagina. We stayed and finished our drinks out of politeness, since no one else saw the flashing we didn’t want to make a scene. Suffice to say, he didn’t come home with me last night; claimed he had an early meeting today. This one moment has changed everything new and exciting in my life to intensely awkward discomfort that just thinking about makes me want to move back to Maine. How do I tackle this two fronted dilemma?

Most of the time I recommend a brash and impulsive approach but it’s not always the best way to go about ruining an employer’s life. So, first, forget about your beau.  He’s obviously not the one.  Second, find subtle, subversive ways to drive your boss’ business into the ground.  The common axe that, “living well is the best revenge” applies in most cases but judging by the tone of this letter you sent me and the fact that you’d seriously consider returning to Maine over a two-week boyfriend, I’d wager you’re incapable of such a thing.  So, I’d recommend just trying your darndest to bring your superiors down to your level.  Also: Scotch works great.



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