ask Knox: sales, tricks and standards


mailbox2Dear Knox,
I’m bursting at the seams. I live in a small town in western Iowa and I haven’t been laid in over a year. I’m strongly considering a drive across state lines and putting good money down on a hired pro in Omaha, if you catch my drift. I’ve never done this before and I don’t feel particularly proud, but I’m not sure what else to do. Please advise.

I was a salesman once in Atlanta. My boss was a fair man, but still, he was in sales, and wouldn’t carry dead weight. One week, when I was particularly down on my luck, he gave me an envelope and said, “Don’t open this until the end of the week.” I went out, got lucky, pulled myself out of the rut, and made it to Friday without completely losing my grip. I opened the envelope over a cup of coffee at Denny’s. It simply read, “If you didn’t make your quota this week, you’re fired.” I asked the guy about it on Monday and he told me, “Desperation is a stinky cologne. If I had to bring down the axe, I didn’t want to hover it over your head all goddamn week. That wouldn’t have gotten you any sales.”

The point I’m digressing from is this: don’t pay for sex. Go out to Omaha and close like you don’t know your life depends on it. And for God’s sake, keep your standards low.

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