ask Knox: lost in translation


mailbox3Dear Knox,

I am currently in a long term relationship with a beautiful Japanese woman. She has taught me to become less inhibited with sexual exploration. She allows me to experiment with her in untold ways, with little embarrassment or hurt feelings. However, we have come to a bump in our relationship. My family and friends can’t stand her. They think that she is manipulative and underhanded. It becomes a struggle to do anything as a group. Tensions flare anytime the subject of our relationship arises. Please help.

I don’t really know why you mentioned the fact that your sex life is going so well with this woman in the beginning of your letter, only to go into the problems with your family.  It leads me to believe that you’re just in it for the sex, despite the fact that everyone around you hates her. I used to work as a ranch hand in Montana and there was this old leatherneck there who used to say, “If one person tells you that you’re a horse, you might not be a horse.  If two people say you’re a horse, you might still not be a horse.  But if three people say you’re a horse—then giddyup, motherfucker.”  My point, if you’re too dense to discern it, is that if and when everyone in your life who cares about thinks your girlfriend sucks, she probably does.  That, or everyone else who cares about you sucks, in which case you’re in a sad state of affairs.  There is the possibilty that everyone in your life sucks, which would mean that you probably suck too, and you’re only here to perpetuate this terrible cycle of suckdom throughout the ages.  My advice to you, then, is try to suck less.

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