ask Knox: for love and money
I’ve been seeing this girl for about nine months now. She’s the first serious girlfriend I’ve had since I became, for lack of a better word, assfuckingly rich about three years ago. Our relationship thus far has been really fun. She’s intelligent, honest, and nonchalantly beautiful. Best of all, she didn’t seem to care about my wealth. Early on, I had to resist the urge to spoil her, taking her on simple dates to movies and restaurants and museums, doing my best to treat it like a normal relationship. Lately, though, I’ve been splurging. We went on a surprise trip to Paris last month. For her birthday, I got her a $10,000 painting by her favorite artist. The VIP-lifestyle has crept up on us and with that, I’ve noticed a change in her behavior. She talks more about products she wants, has become more interested in the high life and is even talking about quitting her job, so we can spend more time (and money) together. I really love this girl, but I’m also feeling really weird about the situation – I can’t tell if I’m simply starting to feel more selfish about my wealth and want to share less with her, or if she’s starting to expect more out of me. And even if the relationship falls apart, is this what I can expect out of all future relationships? I really could use some advice on how to take all of this in.
This may sound a bit radical to you, but I was in a similar situation some years ago and what I did worked out perfectly. Essentially, if you want to know if she’s the one and that money has nothing to do with it, take her to Monte Carlo and let her know that you are going to liquefy all assets and let it ride on a game of roulette. Put your entire fortune on one color, allowing yourself a fifty percent chance of hitting. Whether you hit or miss, you’ll see her true colors as that ball spins around and around, before landing to make you either bankrupt or even more assfuckingly rich.
The real point of this exercise, however, isn’t to see if she loves you for your money; rather, it’s to prove to yourself that you don’t need the money, in the end. That’s what this is really about, isn’t it? Of course, when I did it, I actually won and yet she still left me, saying, “You’re a fucking psycho.” Maybe she was right about that one. Whatever the case, we knew in that moment who we were dealing with.
[update: see comments for the advice-seeker’s follow-up]
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