ask Knox: the true meaning of love


mailbox1I’ve been seeing my current girlfriend for a few months now and things have been going really well. We’re super compatible and both very much into each other. While we’ve been hooking up since we started seeing each other, she was slow to give into intercourse. Two weeks ago it finally happened and it was beautiful, but when we were done and got out of bed we noticed we had a visitor, a small piece of excrement on my bed sheets. She was quick to apologize and said that sometimes it just happens when she’s in the heat of the moment. Of course I played it down as I really like her. But the thing is this keeps on happening. I’m not sure what to do because it’s really starting to disgust me but I don’t want it to ruin what we have.

Well, we all have our quirks, my friend, and while I most certainly draw the line at poo in my bed, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to as well. My first instinct is to say, “Go to the doctor.” I mean, shitting every time you get excited isn’t all that normal. She may have some sort of bowel problem that’s really serious. Failing that, it’s psychological, and she should probably see a shrink about it. It could make you stronger as a couple to wade through the process together, and it would show how much you really care.
That, or you could just accept it – shit in your bed and all. It reminds me of the time this old guy I was a caretaker for down in New Orleans noticed I was skulking around over some girl trouble, and he said, “Boy, you don’ know thuh meanin’ O love! My wife was wipin’ mah ass before she got hit by that damned bus. You go trippin’ bout some dime store cooze, but damn – I bet mah left nut she wouldn’t wipe no ass. She don’ love you. Shee-it.”
So…yeah. One facet of love is accepting the weird, even gross, idiosyncrasies of someone’s nature. You can help them try to fix it if they want to do it, or you can just let it be. Sometimes love means you got shit in your bed.

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