ask knox: self reflection

06May09

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Dear Knox,

I read The Heartbroke Daily almost every day, though mostly out of utter disbelief. You’re a misogynist. You’re pathological. You’re more or less a failure. I also figure that on account of you living hard and drinking hard for so many years you must be rather unattractive these days (which would explain why you’ve never once posted a picture of yourself on your site).

Are you seeing anyone these days? How can anyone even stand you?

To answer your last question first, no I’m not seeing anyone at the moment. I am currently in the process of separating from my wife and have tried to avoid further romantic entanglements until it is over. I have never wanted to turn this project into a so-called dating blog where I detail my life in real time. Because the driving force behind the site is about heartbreak, it seems like we all have more perspective on our lovesickness with distance.

Now, I will agree that I am in many ways a failure and even pathological, but I take issue with your calling me a misogynist. I don’t hate women or girls. As we began our divorce, my wife yelled, “Dammit Knox, I don’t get it – how can you love women so much yet hate yourself?” So, if anything, I’d be a self-loathing misanthrope – but only on my really bad days.

As far as my good looks go, I never was much of an Adonis even when I was young, before getting my ass handed to me in a number of boxing matches and bar brawls; before falling into the roller coaster ride of self destruction and obnoxiously healthy asceticism. I’ve been told I had an interesting look before, but no one has ever described me as much more than that. Believe me, I’m as confused as you are.

What can I say? Life is not fair. Whatever the case, I’m so glad to hear that you enjoy reading the blog.



2 Responses to “ask knox: self reflection”

  1. I wonder about you…sometimes. What you look like, sound like? Married not married? Children no children? How old you are…

    What business do I have wondering about you? I don’t know. I just do. I think my spirit would get along well with your spirit.

    I’ve gotten some of my questions answered sort of…and your answers to this reader is exactly what I thought they would be.

  2. 2 Julia

    Being someone who has known, in a weird way, the enigma of the man who is Knox Dupree, I can categorically state that he is a terribly sweet son of a bitch. I hate myself for missing him sometimes, though he never directly wronged me. He was a strange character in that every time he lied, he was actually telling the truth. And despite his rambling nature, he was always there for you, 100%. Did he look like Brad Pitt? Heavens no. Did he have a weakness for the bottle? You bet your ass. But he had a way of showing a woman her inner perfection, something most women- most people- never allow themselves to see.
    So, anonymous writer who reads this blog every day, just know that it isn’t how a man looks on the surface necessarily. Even if he is a drunk, a failure, a “misanthrope” (well, I don’t believe that), it doesn’t matter- not if he makes you feel like the last woman on earth.
    Even if you are not.


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